Monday, February 16, 2015

It's Over

I have been thinking alot about this lately. I think it's time I quit blogging. not that I have been blogging much as it is.

It doesn't really matter considering I was never really good at it anyways. Right now I am at a very low point in my existence and I just don't think that anything I write will make any difference.

I have tried very hard over the past year and some to work things out in my life but that this point none of it is going get me anywhere.

I have run and logged lots of time running but to tell you the truth it hasn't felt like I have gotten any better at it and half the time I struggle but try to put on a positive outlook. Sure I have lost a few pounds but when it comes down to it, it hasn't changed my life at all. Sure I feel better after a run but it is only a temporary band aid to what ails me mentally.

Things have been hard. I know many thousands of people probably have it worse than me and kudos for them and the fact that they can keep moving forward. But for myself I am not moving forward I am stagnating. 

I am stagnating in my professional life with my biggest prospect being maybe getting an actual position one day HA. Not likely from what I have been seeing going on. 

Personally, I feel very negative and like I am toxic to everyone and everything that I come into contact with. D is not getting much better and after what went on tonight when I got home from work I feel helpless.

Maybe I need to do more than walk away from this blog. Maybe I just need to walk away from my life although I highly doubt going or doing anything else is going to help either. It will probably be just as crummy.

So for now I am saying good-bye I might be back one day but at this point in my low I just don't see it.

Thank you to everyone who has ever read and commented on my stupid blithering.