Friday, May 4, 2012

Lots Of Thought Time

Given that I am off on sick leave while I recover from surgery has given me lots of time for my thoughts. Lately, my thoughts have been going towards what I am going to do in the future once I am able to return to my somewhat normal life. Like things that I plan on changing and how I am going to make those changes, as well as, thinking about people both in and out of my life. I seem to go through phases in my life where at time I let everyone in and visit friends and so forth running around all the time and feeling energized. Unfortunately, I also go through phases where I completely seperate myself from everyone except for family. During those times I rarely go out and visit with friends or even speak with them. I don't do this to insult anyone I just don't feel like I have much to contribute and want to be alone. I have been thinking that now is time to try and find a happy medium instead of swinging from one end of the spectrum to the other. The next thoughts regarding this is how to do I accomplish this task. I think that I may start setting aside some time each week like a couple of afternoons a week to visit and catch up with friends but still allowing myself to have my solitary time. I will do this for my friends but also for my piece of mind. My close friends know this about me and never seem to give me a hard time when I turn inwards and am not communicative but I no longer want to get to the point where I am shutting those people out of my life. So once I am back on my feet so to speak that will be the game plan. Visit and keep in touch without going overboard on the time that seems to slip away so fast. There are some people though that I have cut out from my life but with good reason. For instance there was someone I considered to be a friend that just seemed to change into a totally self-centered person with nothing but a huge chip on her shoulder and this person started to take advantage of everyone they know, using them for all they were worth and acting like the world owed her one. In fact the world did not owe her one and I got really sick of her better than everyone attitude that one night on the phone I had just had enough and have not been friends with her since. My husband was still friends with her husband and I am sure it made it a little akward for him but none the less I couldn't do it anymore. Since thenn though that friendship has fallen by the wayside as her husband started acting more and more like his wife and now my husband barely has anything to do with him. Those types of people I am glad I cut myself off from because it is not healthy to be a friendship where someone thinks they know better or are better than you because they just end up running you into the ground. Friends should help build you up not tear you down. Anywho, enough with the negative and back to the positive. I will aim to complete my goal of spending more time with my friends and not get stuck in my little world where I sink back I am uncommunicative with everyone. Any tips on how to balance time with friends and still keep my alone time so that I can complete my other goals?