First I would like to apologize to my facebook friends. My post of yesterday mentioning that I may delete my blog was a cry for help. Lately I haven't been doing that well, I have been a little down and I think yesterday was the peak of it. Other things in my life also show that I am not doing very well, for example I have gained back 12 of the pounds that I had previously lost and just in general have been feeling very lonely.
As for being lonely that is something that I can control. Darcy has been taking the car lately and my refusal of asking my mom for a ride to anywhere but work has caused me to not go to the gym and work out plus I have not been reaching out to friends to go for coffee or heck even just to hang out or talk. I have secluded myself. Well, starting now I am going to work at changing that. There is no point in feeling lonely when I don't actually have too. Sometimes in life I think we cut our noses off in spite of our face.
Things are looking a bit brighter today and I started my day by tackling the kitchen which looked like a bomb went off. At this point I think I will just focus on the small stuff and how to make my life better and what I want it to be one small step a day. Even if it means that one of my goals for the day be doing a load of laundry or doing a blog post. I need to feel like I am doing something that is contributing to the world even if it is spilling my sometimes weird beliefs into this magical world of blogging.
I want to let my facebook friends also know that their comments on why I should not delete my blog touched me and I sat there crying while reading them. Thank-you for providing support when it mattered most during my cry for help.