Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Looking Inwards

Today has been a far sight better than yesterday, it doesn't hurt as well that I have the day off so no work for me tonight. I have alot of time today to reflect on some things that have been getting me down as well as coming up with ways to change that. I haven't gone anywhere as we keep having rounds of snow burts and it is -7 outside (BRRRRRRRR).

While contemplating what is transpiring around me with family and what may or may not be going on. One thing that troubles me though is when you let certain people back in your life "How long till it goes back to the way it was before?" Darcy has recently reconnected with a friend that was by all accounts taking advantage of him. Was constantly asking for rides and it got to the point where this friend was even expecting Darcy to go and walk his dog for him on an almost daily basis. More than once I was on the verge of leaving not physically but emotionally because it always felt like I was put on the very bottom of the priority list. Darcy was always coming home late because he had to go and help this friend or his wife who was more than happy to take advantage of the friendship m husband offer to them. If she thought that he would say no to a request she would have her husband call and ask (later just become expectation that he would say yes). Why did Darcy feel the need to say yes and give to much time to his friend well let's just say this friend has a terminal illness. While I understand wanting to help this friend who needs the help, they were competely taking advantage because his wife does not have a terminal illness and could complete most of the tasks that they were asking of him.

Well recently Darcy is now in contact with this friend again and has promised he will not let himself be taken advantage of again, I can't help but have my doubts. I love Darcy dearly but he does have an easy guilt button which is one of the reasons he let himself be taken advantage of before. You know that saying "You can't see the forest through the trees" that is Darcy. He became so involved in caretaking that himself and his family took a back seat in his life and he always felt justified because he could not see what he was doing.

So I am putting my faith in the fact that he was out of the situation for long enough that he will be careful not to let himself get taken advantage of again in that way. I am not saying that he should not help his friend but that he needs to be aware of when things maybe taken to far and that it no longer becomes help but an expectation.

How would you deal with a situation like this?