Friday, March 9, 2018

Inner Struggles

I have found myself struggling over the last week. I can't quite put my finger on it but I know that there are questions that my critical self is asking and stating that I am struggling to answer.

Things like

-you are alone
-you realize you are always going to be alone?
-what makes you think that anyone is going to want you?

Every time these thoughts are popping into my head the struggle is to make them go away but sometimes it is rather hard.

Any thoughts as to how to help make these thoughts go away?

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Letting Go Sunday Run

Some things that I have never heard discussed is how hard it is mentally to let things go. Whether it be a toxic relationship, bad employer, backstabbing friends. I know that people just simply say let go but it is never that easy.

Today was the first day in a few weeks where I actually decided to head outdoors for my run. It was a little on the chilly side as it was only about 2 degrees outside but it was a good run. I felt energized and ran faster than I normally do on the treadmill.

I used to worry that I probably look silly out there running as I am not fast by any stretch of the imagination but am past that now. I just do me.

Happy Sunday everyone. Hope everyone who runs today has a good one.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Odds and Ends

Things have been going quite well and now that my mouth has pretty much healed up I am going to start back to running this weekend. I am currently reading the book "You Do You" It is an awesome read so far and I am getting quite a bit of benefit from the information that it has.

I am focusing on becoming the me that I was meant to be. Everyday i get a step closer be it with my crocheting, running, or just being the best person that I can be.

My passport arrived early last week so now I am good to travel. When it comes to going to Las Vegas this summer that is one less thing out of the road.

Anywho this is all I can manage today as I have been up since 430 in the morning and did an hour of overtime so my brain is officially fried...

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Love Yourself

With all that has been going on over the last year the most important lesson I've learned is to "Love Myself" I am finally at the point where I can look in the mirror and say I love you to myself without cringing.

It took alot for me to get to this point. Up to and including  severe depression that ended up with me being on antidepressants.  I had hit my ultimate low where I laid in bed at night and tried to think of reasons as to why I shouldn't kill myself. That was the hardest time I have had so far. I know it wasn;t just all about me as I my life was falling apart. My husband decided that doing drugs and who knows what else was better than being a part of my life. I felt useless and hopeless. Now more than 6 months later and I am in a totally better head space.

I am grateful now for all the good that is happening in my life. I feel better than I ever have. I have great friends and people who love me and want the best for me. I am going to start working from home soon which will be another adventure that I am looking forward to as I will be gaining 10 hours of my life back per week that I won't be spending commuting. I have a dog that I love who is the sweetest little beast. I have all these ideas about things that I am going to be doing over the next while and that is what is letting me know that I am in a good space. I am so very far away from the beat down person I used to be.

What are you grateful for?

Saturday, February 10, 2018

Long Week But Worth It

Things have been going very well lately. Last week I got my top denture same day as the teeth extraction. I have never really had good teeth but over the last few years I was taking care of someone else and not me. Now that I am on the road to taking care of myself my body is well under control so it was time to take care of the teeth aspect.

It has been a slow process but it is starting to heal nicely. Today was the first day that I was able to take out the denture for cleaning where it didn't hurt so that to me is a good sign.

Other than that I have been doing my walking with Tanis my sister in law. D has tried contacting me alot over the last little while but I find that I just don't even have the energy to respond 99% of the time. I am working on putting myself first and want to experience the good things in life so that is all I am letting in at this time.

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Sunday Run It Out Day

It is Sunday once again but thankfully it is my long weekend this weekend so I have another day off tomorrow as well.  I ran on the treadmill this morning as there is a rainfall warning in effect for the lower mainland.

It was a good run and I am glad I am getting back into the swing of running whether it be outside or inside on the treadmill. While running outside is definitely more interesting there is something to be said about running and being warm and dry that is appealing to me.

 I have been following up all of my runs in the last couple of weeks with 10-15 sit ups and 10-15 push ups. So needless to say I have been feeling better and stronger with those and while running. While life seems to be getting better and better with lots of great things being planned over this year like a trip to Las Vegas with a couple of friends.

Any good ideas of things to do and see while in Las Vegas?